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Without controversy or exaggeration, it is fair to declare that there have been plenty of oral arguments made and articles written within Christendom regarding divorce. The commentators, who claim knowledge and understanding of divorce range from every spectrum of position within the Christian faith.
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The primary theme predominantly conveyed by these claimants is the well-known statement, which is considered to be the sum of God’s attitude toward divorce – that being “God hates divorce.”
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It is taken from Malachi 2:16 where the prophet, speaking in place of God says, “He hateth putting away” (KJV). It means one spouse casting away the other spouse from having a joint fellowship together, removing all obligations, physical connections, and provisions the expelled spouse may require or expect.
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If so much of what they declare were not so disturbing and detrimental to all Christendom their declarations and counsel would be entertaining.
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The associated topics correlated to divorce within these discussions have been varied, i.e. infidelity, mental exhaustion, unhappiness, can’t get along, as well as forgiveness, the church’s dealings regarding ministry in the church by those who have been divorced, or complete prohibition from divorcing, etc.
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So, if the discussion on divorce has been so broad and exhaustive, why would I think that I could add anything to the mix that hasn’t already been offered? Well, if you have read my other articles, you will probably correctly assume that what I have to say will not be a regurgitation of these discussions.
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Not only that, I hope to set straight much of the false counseling and expositions proclaimed by those who base their musings on divorce from their false and unbiblical concepts of marriage. However, I’ll just say what I have to say and let you be the judge.
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I will declare this right out of the gate. One can only have a true understanding of divorce (putting away) when one has a true understanding of Biblical marriage.”
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Listen carefully to what I have to say, which gives greater meaning to my title. Divorce can only occur within a legitimate Biblical marriage (to know what I mean by Biblical marriage you will need to read my other articles on this topic). A Biblically “honorable marriage” (Hebrews 13:4) must exist first before divorce is relevant to the discussion.
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If a marriage, which can only occur between a man and a woman, is Biblically illegitimate, any relevance of divorce is non-existent. When an illegitimate marriage exists, divorce is mute and incurs no consequence, regardless of the existence of civil documents or pretended covenants.
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Many, many, many have believed in and exercised false Biblical marital concepts or secular protocols, whereby, assuming they are or have been legitimately married before God, when in fact their union is or was fornicated and illegitimate to begin with. Under such a fornicated illegitimate union divorce is a non-event. They are or were deceived in their so-called divorce as they are or were deceived in their so-called marriage. One must get marriage right before one can get divorce right in whatever one advises, exercises, or proclaims.
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The authorized declaration by Malachi of the Lord saying “he hateth putting away” is based on a legitimate marriage (sexual intimacy). It is asinine and foolish to think that the Lord would hate putting away if two that are joined are defiled (fornicated) to begin with. He would hate the defiled connection and wouldn’t even consider that any one of the two could put the other away. Again, putting away is only relevant within a valid legitimate marriage.
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Jesus gave us this example of a legitimate marriage and the consequence of divorce in Matthew 5 & 19, Mark 10, and Luke 16 when stating that “whosoever puts away his wife and marries [sexual intimacy] another afterward, he and the other woman will be committing adultery, and whoever the put away wife marries, afterward, she and the other man will be committing adultery.”
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Now notice that Jesus said, “marry another”. Does this mean a vow, a covenant, or a civil document? Is it possible to commit adultery toward a spouse by these? If I go out and vow or covenant or acquire a civil document of marriage with three women and not be sexually intimate with them, will I have committed adultery with them against my wife? This is why the word “marry” is used in each text. It denotes sexual intimacy and not anything else. This is Biblical marriage when it is right, and adulterous marriage (fornication) when it is wrong.
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We see this truth in another text, Romans 7:2&3. Notice it says that if a woman be married to another man while her husband lives, she shall be called an adulteress. Again, is it the vow, covenant, or document that the Scripture is referring to? Not at all. I think we all know how adultery is committed. It is a sexually intimate engagement that is illegitimate and defiled. Notice that the act of adultery in this text, like in Jesus’ statements, is considered marriage and not just adultery. Once the marriage occurs, it is never undone, except for death of one of the spouses only within a legitimate marriage.
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You spouses that have had a Biblical marriage, where after having forgiven them take back your unfaithful adulterous spouse are taking back a married person. They are not just married to you anymore. If an undefiled legitimate Biblical marriage existed to begin with, through their adulterous act, they have defiled your Biblical marriage and the “marriage bed.” Hence, the reason for Jesus to include in Matthew the exception clause, where if the putting away is from the other committing fornication (adultery, homosexuality, bestiality) then all of what he goes on to say is void and irrelevant regarding the one putting away and them “marrying another.” It doesn’t matter for the violator, because they have already defiled their body making them ineligible of every having a Biblical marriage thereafter. Since they are unworthy of the Biblical marriage they had, they will never be worthy of having one with anyone else.
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Why…? Putting them away will never be the “cause” of adultery for either spouse if marrying another. The unfaithful spouse is already defiled and has made the Biblical marriage illegitimate, setting you free to marry another. They will always be defiled and still married to you. However, although your joining to them is not severed, due to no death, you are pardoned and not defiled before God when marrying another. It is as if they are now sexually dead to you through their defilement. And the defilement in their body does not cease until their death.
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And as I have already made very clear in other places, the putting away spouse, having knowledge of their fornication, must put them away to keep their self from being defiled right along with them, because they are illegitimately connected sexually to someone or something else. To stay pure for remarriage, they must avoid sexually the unfaithful spouse and put them away. Otherwise, after having knowledge, you will willingly defile yourself and will cause yourself to commit fornication if you afterward decide to put them away and marry another. It must be done immediately.
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It is the law of physical sexual connections, which are established into creation that must be respected and administered in the way that God designed it. That way is “…he which made them at the beginning, made them male and female… and they twain shall be one flesh…What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder” (Matthew 19:4-6). Any other way will be in violation of that natural law and consequential. Repentance, faith, or forgiveness will not remove the consequence, no matter how much you wish it. One has to live with it.
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So, not all people in the church who are divorced are worthy of ministry. In fact, many who you think are legitimately married are not and are not worthy either. Some who you consider single are in fact married or have committed adultery or some other fornication. It’s just through ignorance, and wrong doctrines, they think otherwise.
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You can thank this ignorance and those wrong doctrines for perpetuating the situation within the church. The only way it will change is for God’s people to understand Biblical marriage. Understanding Biblical marriage will make understanding divorce a piece of cake.
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So, God does hate divorce when it involves a true legitimate Biblical marriage, because of what it can and often does produce – fornication. I, therefore, advise all Christian counselors, pastors, teachers, and any other instructor within Christendom to learn true Biblical marriage.