by Edward Ridenour
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Someone may ask the question, “what about when a man forces himself upon a woman raping her?” I believe based on Scripture, if someone is violated in an act of rape, whether it involves incest or otherwise, it must be clear that this act would never be construed or regarded as marriage to the Lord regarding the victim. This is an act of violence toward the victim physically and the victims will. The victim should never believe, in the slightest, that they are bound to the perpetrator. The victim would be free, for God is a God of peace. Although, the victim is free, the perpetrator, however, would be living in fornication (adultery) for the rest of their life, if they are sexually intimate with another, ever.
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The Bible (KJV), however, never uses the word “rape” in any context where this act is identified, but rather the word “forced.” There is one instance, which describes an act of rape in II Samuel chapter 13 where Amnon, King David’s eldest son, “loved” (had a lustful desire for” his brother Absolom’s sister, Tamar. Because of her being a virgin and the close sociable familiar restrictions placed upon males toward virgin girls, Amnon’s crafty and subtle cousin Jonadab advised him how to circumvent those restrictions and deceptively lure Tamar alone to himself, making it possible for him to be sexually intimate (marry) with her. His advice was for Amnon to pretend to be sick in bed and while being visited by his concerned father David, he should request from David that he would allow Tamar to come and prepare a pastry for him in his presence, and she would serve it to him to eat. For all the children of King David lived in separate houses.
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Amnon deceivingly succeeded in convincing David, according to the plan. David immediately summoned Tamar to do as Amnon had requested. Tamar, then, came to Amnon’s residence and carried out the process of making the cakes before him and presented them for him to eat. Amnon, refusing to eat the cake (his excuse not declared), commanded, with authority as the King’s son, all the men in his chamber to leave them alone. Men, who were probably there to supervise the encounter. Once alone, Amnon bid Tamar to feed the cake to him. As Tamar was offering the food to Amnon to get him to eat, he then laid hold of Tamar’s arm pulling her into his bed, bidding her to volunteer to be sexually intimate with him. She vehemently struggled against him, refusing his request. He, therewith, “forced her and lay with her” (II Samuel 13:14). Tamar did her best to say whatever she could to dissuade him from his rape attempt and escape. She went so far as to desperately say, although by the Mosaic Law it was forbidden, that if he were to ask David for her as a wife, David would “not withhold me from thee” (II Samuel 13:13). However, it was to no avail.
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Amnon had committed, as Tamar indicated, a “folly” (a phrase used to indicate an evil, sinful, criminal act) in Israel. Leviticus describes the punishment and marital unlawfulness of a brother taking “his sister…and see her nakedness and she his nakedness; it is a wicked thing and they shall be cut off from among their people…” (Leviticus 20:17). See also Leviticus 18:9, 11.
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The Bible says that Amnon, after raping Tamar, “hated her exceedingly” (II Samuel 13:15). Once his sexual lust had been played out, his love-lust turned into hate-lust. He immediately added to his folly, after “humbling” her (taking her virginity) by sending her away in shame. Her grief and shame were depicted by her “putting ashes on her head and renting her garment of divers colors [a special robe worn by the King’s virgin daughters], and laid her hand on her head, and went out crying” (II Samuel 13:19). Amnon had married her, taking away her virginity. He “spoiled” her. She was willing to stay and be a wife to him, even after the dastardly deed had been executed, but he sends her away as a prostitute in a desolate manner. She was willing to stay with him because she would never likely be married after this. No other man could or would now want her. According to Old Testament law, Amnon should have been stoned to death but wasn’t. It appears to be covered up, similar to David and Bathsheba. However, as long as Amnon was alive, Tamar was officially married to Amnon and she couldn’t change that fact (to understand why, read my article “Why O.T. Men Had More Than One Wife”). Once rejected, Tamar did as was the proper role of abandoned women who were without a husband—she placed herself under a male relative, “Tamar remained desolate in her brother Absalom’s house” (II Samuel 13:20). About two years later, Absalom eventually killed Amnon, which set Tamar free from being married to him.
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There is another instance found in Genesis chapter 34, where some believe, Dinah, Jacob and Leah’s daughter, was raped by a Hivite prince. I personally don’t believe that this was a rape situation. As I continue, I will attempt to explain, through the description of this event, and the one after this, why I feel this way.
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During Jacob’s stay in Shalem, a city of a Hivite prince named Shechem, he purchased a parcel of land for him and all of his tribe and their animals, to establish themselves temporarily. While abiding in this land surrounded by Hivites, Leah’s daughter Dinah, as a virgin female, ventured out beyond what should have been her bounds, “Dinah…went out to see the daughters of the land” (Genesis 34:1). Dinah had viewed an assembly of young Hivite women outside of the confines of her territory and curiously went to make an acquaintance with them. By doing this alone, she would have been removed from any male protection and susceptible of being taken by any man that chose to do so, as undoubtedly happened.
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Howbeit, she would not have been ignorant to the customary aspect of this fact. However, for whatever reason, she did it anyway. My presumption is that she was rebellious, like her brothers, and decided, she was tired of her surroundings and decided to do whatever she wanted, in spite of the possible consequences, or, in one way, maybe hoping for it. I say this, because when the Bible speaks of assemblies of the “daughters of the land,” it is referencing virgin girls coming out playing and exposing themselves, under male protection, showing that they were physically ready for marriage and looking for a suitor who would be interested in them for marriage. Hence, the exact scenario of her being taken by Shechem. There is no hint of any rejection to his advances by Tamar. She knew what could happen and seemingly had no problem welcoming it.
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As happened, she was discovered by Shechem, the prince of the land, and, as the Bible notes, he “took her, and lay with her, and defiled her” (Genesis 34:2). It is also noted in the same text that Shechem sincerely “loved Dinah and was very kind to her,” seducing her with promises of a joyous life together (verse 3). In my view, Shechem only did what was common of men of that time when a young virgin was outside of the protection of a man, especially in that setting. She became fair game and should not have been there. I will try to defend this opinion more in the subsequent illustration.
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The Bible notes in verse 11 and 12 that Shechem sought covenant acceptance from Jacob to “take” (keep) Dinah as his wife. Although he had already married her by lying with her, he was willing to give whatever they asked of him, for her. It also states that Shechem “had delight in Jacob’s daughter: and he was more honorable than all the house of his father” (Genesis 34:19).
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Shechem is not described as being an evil man of “Belial” as the Bible has described other wicked men to be. I think it is misconstrued to believe that the term defiled, stated in Scripture and used by the brothers of Dinah, referred to the act of Shechem raping Dinah. No forcefulness is at all alluded to in the text by Shechem or resistance by Dinah. Rather, it is to denote, he having been uncircumcised had physically polluted her, making her unclean, as a Hebrew, when he married (sexual intimacy) Dinah. The sons go on to explain this to Shechem.
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To her brothers, it was a crime against Israel. This crime is noted in verse 7 by the use of the term “folly,” similar to Tamar describing the folly wrought by Amnon. Amnon’s act of folly (crime) was, primarily, through the sexual force on a female and, in addition, it being between brother and sister. Shechem lying with Dinah in an uncircumcised state was his so-called act of folly (crime). They self-righteously never considered the fact that they were in his country, not under their Hebrew laws, and that she deliberately instigated the whole thing.
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Once taken, as the wife she now was to him, Dinah abode in the house of Shechem. She was there, because of the marriage now between them. In order for Dinah to be set free from Shechem, to marry a Hebrew, death was the only alternative, which the brothers of Dinah set out to accomplish. But if they were to kill him, they would need to kill all the men, because they would be outnumbered for revenge, which is what Jacob’s sons conspired in and executed.
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The Holy Spirit reveals the true heart and spirit of Shechem and his innocence. He declared him to be “more honorable than all that were in his house.” His honor is seen in offering to give Jacob whatever he desired of him (34:11&12), so as to keep her as his wife. If it were a rape and he had treated her as “a harlot,” which the sons accused him of, he would not have kept her as his wife, nor would he have made such a generous offer in exchange for her. Also, it is important to point out that he was doing over and above what God’s “future” commandment was when a man laid with a maiden without covenanting for her first with her father (Exodus 22:16&17 & Deuteronomy 22:28&29). Shechem displayed the honorable character the Holy Spirit identified him as having. The evil dishonorable ones were her brothers.
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The brothers, through trickery, ruthlessly deceived and murdered many innocent men (husbands and fathers). They murdered men, who had accepted and exercised the token of faith in the God of Israel. They used that holy token against these Hivite men to weaken them and deceive and murder them.
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To illustrate more of how this was not a rape case, but more a young virgin woman exposing herself, void of male protection and irrespective of custom, let’s look at Judges chapter 19 thru 21.
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The story is about a man, a Levite, who had retrieved for himself his unfaithful runaway concubine. Once he had found her at her father’s house he began his journey home with her. As they were journeying, it became late and he decided that instead of lodging the night in a city of foreigners (Jebusites), he chose to enter a city, Gibeah, of the sons of Israel, the Benjaminite’s. As they entered the town and was abiding in the marketplace, no one received them into their house, until an old man came from a field. He was of the mountains of Ephraim and dwelt as a stranger in Gibeah and invited the Levite and his group of people to abide the night in his house. It was here, after eating, washing feet, and drinking, some worthless lewd men of the city surrounded the house and began to beat on the door, demanding the master of the house (the old man) to “bring forth the man that came into thine house, that we may know him” (Judges 19:22).
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It’s very obvious that the desired interest these men conveyed in demanding to be acquainted with the male stranger was sexually deviant. This is evident from the old man’s condemnation and rebuke of their evil intentions, and the offering of two females, his virgin daughter along with the man’s concubine, in the place of the man. It is similar to Lot’s situation, as he confronted the wicked men of Sodom. The deviant men finally ceased in their wicked pursuit of the Levite man when the visitor brought to them his concubine, which they ended up taking and abusing her physically and sexually all night long. The abuse was so bad; after being turned loose, she died at the door of the old man’s house the next morning.
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The concubine’s husband, angry concerning what these Benjaminite men had done, cut the concubine’s corpse into twelve pieces, according to the number of tribes in Israel, and sent a dissected piece to each tribe to protest the dastardly deed and demand justice against the men responsible. Outraged by the deed, the congregation of Israel assembled at Mizpeh to pass sentence against Gibeah and demanded the men responsible for these crimes be delivered up to them to be tried and punished. But when the Benjaminite’s refused to deliver them to the counsel of the other tribes and defiantly resisted, siding with the evildoers, the other tribes set out to make war upon Gibeah and the Benjaminite’s.
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After a number of battles had been fought with the burning of all Benjaminite cities and killing men, women, children, and animals, the other tribes eventually conquered and destroyed all the Benjaminite’s, except for six hundred men who had escaped. Now, after the war was over and a tribe of Israel almost eliminated, the other tribes began to regret a decision they had made. Although there were still six hundred Benjaminite men remaining, they had no wives to repopulate the tribe and retain the inheritance. All the women had been killed. With concern, the other tribes proposed to resolve this difficulty and get the remaining Benjaminite men wives. However, there was one problem. The other eleven tribes, when gathered in Mizpeh, vowed that, after this horrible deed and their defiance to it, they would not give their daughters to any Benjaminite.
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In their attempt to resolve this, it was declared that a subdivision of a tribe, the inhabitants of Jabesh-gilead, had not attended the meeting of the assembly in Mizpeh when congregating in their trial and conquest against the Benjaminite’s. According to a bond of oath by the tribes, whenever a meeting of the congregation was called, all members were to appear. If they did not attend, their disobedience carried with it the threat of death. Therefore, the Israelite assembly, all approving as a way to deal with Jabesh’s disobedience and provide virgins for the six hundred remaining Benjaminite’s, sent an army to utterly destroy the city of Jabesh-gilead and all its inhabitants, except for virgins, who never knew a man.
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Once the city had been destroyed, there remained four hundred virgins preserved alive, fitting the prescribed description, removed from the city and given in marriage to the Benjaminite’s. However, there were still two hundred Benjaminite’s that, yet, remained without a wife. To these men the congregation permitted them to take virgin wives, of the eleven tribes by force, while they danced during the feast of Jehovah in Shiloh. The dances of the virgins would take place outside of the town in the open. An agreement was made for the Benjaminite’s to lie in wait under cover in the vineyards and, if and when the virgins came out to dance, they were to seize upon one, each capturing one for his wife, and steal her away to his house. After accomplishing this, the assembly, then, would deal with the virgin’s fathers. For the other eleven tribes at Mizpeh all vowed that a “curse be to any man that gave his daughter to a Benjaminite to wife.” Supposedly, this stealing away by force would not be considered a breach to the vow made by those fathers.
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It is in this story that gives me reason to conclude that Dinah was not raped by Shechem, but rather, by venturing out on her own to acquaint herself with the “daughters of the land,” without adequate male protection, she had placed herself in a position where she was open game for any man to take and lay claim on her. The virgins dancing outside the town of Shiloh was, in my understanding, a way for virgin girls to pronounce their availability, for any man that needed a wife, hoping to be chosen by an eligible man for marriage. Under normal controlled conditions, suitors would observe them and go through the normal protocol in covenanting for her. I’m not sure how much male protection would have been present normally. It was probably not as detrimental for the virgins within their territory compared to Dinah’s case, being outside her territory on her own. Once the Benjaminite’s had captured and stolen away the girl of their choice to the land of Benjamin, the elders would speak to the fathers of the girls, who complained of the deed, and encourage them, for the sake of the situation, to “be favorable” (Judges 21:22).
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Notice, also, for the Benjaminite’s and their brides, there were no covenants procured, no wedding feasts or ceremonies, no vows made, and obviously no civil documents issued for their marriage. It all revolved around the concept that once they were taken and were sexually intimate, they were married. The children of Israel knew it to be so and so did God.
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Let me take a moment and address an issue that disturbs me in my spirit, since we are on the subject of rape. The adopted attire of our culture among many women in the church is blasphemous. Blasphemy means, the act of insulting or showing contempt or lack of reverence for God and things sacred. The readiness to reveal and expose their figures, cleavage, and as much skin as possible, to both young and old men alike, is nothing more than unbecoming of a godly woman professing holiness. Yes, men have their faults, but women who are allowed to dress seductively and whorishly, as they will, especially within the congregation of believers assembled for worship, is the epitome of blasphemy to Christ, the Holy Spirit, God’s Word, and the body of Christ. It is unscriptural for women, young and old, to uncaringly parade scantily dressed before men with such disregard and ignorance to the natural order of things.
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If God, in the beginning, found it necessary to shed the blood of an animal for Adam and Eve to be clothed, then it is still valid for Christian women to be clothed appropriately. Undoubtedly, provocative sexuality is a damning feature of the ungodly culture we live in today. The last thing needed is for certain woman attending assemblies of worship to promote that culture within.
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Jesus said, “…whoso looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery already with her in his heart” (Matthew 5:28). Trust me, when men are lusting, they are not dreaming in an artistic sense. Some men rape the woman they are lusting after, in their mind. I believe incest evolves a lot after this manner. I get the feeling that the attitude of some women are “I can’t help it if men can’t control their lusts.” What about not offending, but supporting your brother that is weak? Some women, although they probably wouldn’t admit it, want men to look at them and carnally desire them. If this is the case, I’m reminded of what was once said, “men sin, but devils tempt to sin.” Ladies, your requirement of the Lord is to dress modestly having the “…ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price” (I Peter. 3:4). And men, you are to demand that.
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It is absolutely critical, going forward, for the church to have a biblical understanding of marriage and adopt clear standards to teach present believers and new converts the concepts and violations of marriage. The problem with Christian marriage today is the lack of knowledge to these concepts and standards, “…therefore the people that doth not understand shall fall” (Hosea 4:14).The problem that presents itself today, as it has been for some time, is that Christian’s are far too assimilated into the culture.
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Through the ungodliness of the culture, we have been desensitized at the viewing of another’s nakedness, accepting divorce for any cause, being adulterously married numerous times, being very lax concerning sexual touching, and many other unholy connections to what I have outlined in these articles. Is it any wonder, many main-line denominations are accepting homosexuality as acceptable to God, as long as they think they are a Christian and, supposedly, love each other.
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All of this is evidence of a spiritual deadness to the quickening of the Holy Spirit and God’s Word. Conscience’s having been “seared with a hot iron.” Many are reprobate to the truth. God help the church! Although the Apostle Paul said it best, “Nevertheless the foundation of God standeth sure, having this seal, The Lord knoweth them that are his. And, Let everyone that nameth the name of Christ depart from iniquity” (II Timothy 2:19).