by Edward Ridenour
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Even though the Christian church at large refuses to admit the undisputed fact that sexual intimacy equals marriage, abundant evidence is found throughout Scripture supporting this fact. In Scripture, sexual intimacy between a male and female always infers the creation of a marriage.
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I don’t know why the church chooses to be so worldly and secular in their marriage concepts and deny what is so obvious in Scripture, which completely exposes the difference between secular marriage and Biblical marriage. In fact, marriage as promoted by the church today has no backing whatsoever in Scripture, which is only natural, because what they promote is a secular concoction of men and not that instituted by God.
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There are numerous accounts in Scripture in both Old and New Testament, which announce the occurrence of marriage is when a male and female (marriage only exists before God between these two genders) are “sexually intimate.”
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What is clear and unique in Scripture is that when you see “marry” or “married” cited in Scripture text involving the joining of a male and female, it is always referring to them being sexually intimate and nothing else. This is how we know that Mary and Joseph were not married until after Jesus was born. We know this by two truths revealed:
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1- It tells us that Joseph did not “know” (sexual intimacy) Mary until after she birthed Christ.
2- It does not declare them to be married, but declares them to only be espoused, which is the marriage agreement made between Joseph and Mary’s guardian, and does not make a one-flesh union, as does sexual intimacy. She had become Joseph’s “espoused wife” by the betrothal covenant only.
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And when I speak of “sexual intimacy,” I am not referring to intercourse between a male and female. Instead, it encompasses discovering the sexual identity of the other. The wherewithal to do this involves less than intercourse. Just the touching of the others sexual parts is a discovery and a “knowing.” I come to this conclusion based upon two realities and two Biblical passages:
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1. If it is just intercourse, then you would believe that a wife could do anything she desired, sexually, to another man or men, or them do to her, as long as it wasn’t intercourse and it have no consequence (adultery – “marry another”). And I am sure you can imagine all that could be done. And, if this is unacceptable for a Christian wife to do, why would it be any different for a non-penetrated virgin to do the same?
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2. The Apostle Paul said in 1Cor. 7:1&2, “to avoid fornication, it is good for a man not to ‘touch’ a woman.” Why…? Because to touch more than one would be adulterous fornication. To avoid this he said, “let every man have his own [one] wife, and every woman her own [one] husband. Let the touching involve only one. I don’t believe the word “touch” references sexual intercourse, but, rather, physical sexual touching. So, if a man is going to touch (sexual discovery) then it must be with one woman, or the result of touching more than one will be adulterous fornication.
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3. How do we know a homosexual is a homosexual? Is it not because they discover the sexual identity of the other, but do not and cannot be sexual with each other as a male can be with a female?
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4. In Genesis 26 when Isaac went into Gerar, because of a famine and the men of the land inquired concerning Rebekah. He told them, like Abraham did, that she was his sister. After having been there “a long time,” King Abimelech looked out a window and saw Isaac “sporting” with Rebekah and rebuked him for his deception and said “of a surety, she is thy wife,” declaring also, “one of the people might lightly have “lien” with her and brought guiltiness upon them.” Now the point is, what did Abimelech see them doing in the field within sight of a window? What did “sporting” mean? I don’t think it means anything deeply sexual, but more of them kissing and hugging and maybe some brushing of their sexual parts, but that is all. I doubt that there was any nakedness or physical sexual engagement at all. Yet, he knew by their frolicking antics that they were married. If this king new this, what does God know and regard?
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Also, Scripture reveals that marriage is either legitimate (within God’s approved design) or illegitimate (in violation of God’s approved design). In other words, adultery is marriage, and it is committed with or without a marriage license.
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We all know that adultery before God is a sexual act, exclusively, and not from saying “I do” or receiving another document. Biblically, all it takes to commit adultery is for one of the two to have been sexually intimate (married) with someone else.
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If you look for a definition of adultery in the dictionary you will get a secular definition regarding the marriage license and not a Biblical definition regarding sexual intimacy. Biblically, the only way for one who is married legitimately and marries again avoiding adultery is as Paul and Jesus declared: death of a spouse or if their spouse commits a sexually fornicated act (adultery, homosexuality, bestiality). By committing this act, they have defiled (sinned against) their body and the pure joining with their spouse. They are now defiled, and the innocent spouse must put them away, so they do not defile their self with the errant spouse.
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Jesus Christ, Himself, clearly delineates this truth that sex equals marriage in Mathew 5:32 and 19:9, Mark 10:11-12, and Luke 16:18. In each of these verses, He declares that the couples “MARRIED” to another were all committing adultery, primarily because one of them was still legitimately married, which according to the dictionary definition “Voluntary sexual intercourse between a married person and a partner other than the lawful spouse” does not address. Even Paul said in Romans 7:3 that if a woman MARRIED another while her husband was alive, she would be committing adultery. Is this marriage to another in the form of a vow or a license? If this were not lawful, why would Paul say she was “married” to another? And if she was married, how could she be committing adultery according to the dictionary?
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So, these questions need to be asked:
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1. How can the couples in these verses be committing adultery if they are lawfully married? Surely Jesus wouldn’t label them committing adultery as being married if they weren’t lawfully married, would he? Or Paul the woman?
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2. Do you know of any situation where two people are declared married, but not lawfully married?
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3. What law does the church go by to determine whether two people are married or not: God’s law or state law?
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4. Does the church differentiate between God’s law and state law? If they don’t, then how can the couples “marrying another” in the verses above be committing adultery – they were lawfully married? If not state law, what law did Christ consider when labeling those couples committing adultery as being married?
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Christ’s declaration vividly reveals that the dictionary’s definition of adultery is not based on Biblical marriage law, but secular law and should never be consulted for Biblical applications. Based on the secular dictionary and state law, a divorced person is no longer married – the marriage has been dissolved. However, Jesus clearly disputes that. What does the church believe?